Thursday, March 6, 2008

remind me, again

I waited in the hall for him to get out of the bathroom. It took a while. I wandered into the baby room and gawked at the horrible window. It was frightening to see. I vowed to call my favorite window replacement guy that day.

He came out and I passed him in the hall. I went by him slow but he went by me fast. We made eye contact, enough for us both to acknowledge. "I need that rent money." I said. Eye contact finished, he went into his room and closed the door. I stood outside, stunned. Did that really just happening? Maybe he needed to close the door so he could reach behind it for his wallet. Maybe he was getting his money out of the secret floor board stash and didn't want me to see. I waited for a moment or two. The finality of the door tongue clicking into place astounded me. I was not used to being brushed aside and ignored. I generally disappeared from any people who would treat me in such a way. I'd rather be alone, disregarding myself, than to inhabit a world where I had to try to understand such behavior. I heard the tv click on and knocked hard on his door.

"Yeah?" He muttered through the door. I thought about how he looked when he had brushed past me: not showered, nor dressed, eyes red, kind of bleat. He was obviously not on his way anywhere such as his usual job, gym, etc. Was he ill? What was afoot?

I put on a voice. "Hi! It's me. I really need that rent money."

Silence for half a beat. "I got to get a check from a guy." He offered. I smelled bullshit but couldn't call him on it at this point.

"So, tonight, then?" I prodded.

"Well, I was going to see him tomorrow about that check so Saturday."

I didn't answer. I walked away.

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