Dropping the Ball

I'm getting older
I've never felt like this before
I want to shut up and shut down
No impulses allowed to emerge or enter

I want to keep my robe on all day
Pull a Harry or a Brian
Listen to Harry or to Brian
Let things become soothed and refreshed

I want to drink coffee and smoke
I want to feel a hot shower without guilt or alarm
I want to sit at my desk and feel complete
Don't knock on my door today